Sometimes, the hardest thing to do is apologize.
I rock parties, motherfucker.
What is love? What is this longing in our hearts for togetherness? Is it not the sweetest flower? Does not this flower of love have the fragrant aroma of fine, fine diamonds? Does not the wind love the dirt? Is not love not unlike the unlikely not it is unlikened to? Are you with someone tonight? Do not question your love. Take your lover by the hand. Release the power within yourself. You heard me, release the power. Tame the wild cosmos with a whisper. Conquer heaven with one intimate caress. That’s right don’t be shy. Whip out everything you got and do it in the butt.
By Leon Phelps
When you go out this weekend.
When you go out this weekend, to whatever club, party, or festival to see whatever “favorite” DJ came in to your town… keep your phones in your pockets. We all know that you want to have the coolest instagram video or facebook status updates. The fact is, you look like a retard. DJ’s appreciate the fact that you want to take pictures of them, but they really just want you to dance and have fun. (Though there are a few vain fucks out there that would love for each and every one of you to record their whole set). Just go, have fun, take a couple photos with you and your friends and then enjoy the night.
That awkward moment
When you run a mile to the gym. Train legs, proceed to kill legs at gym, and walk home only to realize you dropped your house key doing leg presses.