I don’t really have anyone to talk to this stuff about so I’ll just write it out.

By far this last October has been the worst October in my life. So many bad things happened. Seems every year it just gets worse. The worst thing is disappointing my girlfriend.

You know when your girlfriend is yelling at you to get your shit together you’re fucking up big time. Why am I busting my ass for everyone else. I should be busting my ass for her. Instead I’m worried about picking up speakers and all kinds of other stupid shit. Thursday we were supposed to go to Disneyland on my birthday but I had a sore throat so I didn’t go, but I still went to work, wrong. Friday we were supposed to go to lunch and I didn’t get up in time for lunch, wrong. Saturday we were supposed to go to get her fitted for running shoes but instead I wasted 3 hours of her time picking up a speaker rental, fucking wrong. On top of that I paid 100 dollars to rent a lion costume and she spent 60 bucks on a lioness costume so that we could match… I wore the costume for 30 minutes and didn’t even get to hang out with her or take pictures together, ultra wrong.

She does all this stuff for me and I don’t realize it till later and later always becomes to late. I understand why she gets pissed at me. I’m a flake. I should know better. I been getting flaked on by my parents forever, why am I following their example. I also react to things immediately and bluntly on reflex.

Regardless of all that it’s time to change. I guess it takes getting yelled at to realize I’m wrong sometimes. I’m not getting any younger and lately all I’ve been doing is stressing about stuff and I’m the guy that always tells people not to stress.

So I guess I’m not just saying this to myself. I’m saying it to you all (the world) that I’ve had enough of being the disappointment. It’s time to do great things and be responsible. I’m putting a money back guarantee on it.

-The Matic

I did not forget about you.